Since when did love get so complicated?
I live in a city which is notoriously perceived to be a hard place to date. But actually, I beg to differ on this. It is not that hard to get a date or to meet people at all. The real problem is getting into a relationship and finding love. There's so much choice or at least the perception of choice. And in an environment like this, all too often people want what they can't have or look to trade up.
Sometimes we think that "the heart wants what the heart wants" and if we want it enough we should just go for it. And if the other person is not exactly on the same page we'll wait for them to come around, and even make excuses for them when they don't.
Why do we do this? And why should love be so complicated?
What really got me thinking about this was spending a couple days with my adorable niece and nephew- aged 4 and 5 going on 6. I don't get to see them nearly enough since we live on opposite coasts. They are really getting to be so expressive! I hope I'm not getting to be a jaded New Yorker, but I have to say that I was struck by how easily these children expressed their affection by telling me and their grandparents, several times a day, that they loved us- pure and simple. It was so sweet and I had this feeling of "I love you and you love me, we all love each other." What open-heartedness! It was so wonderful being around these kids who are so lovable, carefree, direct and unincumbered. Children are amazing that way! Being around these children made me really think about love.
Whatever happened to that easy feeling of loving someone just because you love them? And not thinking about whether or not they love you back? I'm not saying that love- especially when it comes to relationships or potential relationships- should be one-sided. What I am saying is why can't we be open-hearted enough to just say and feel that we love someone without expectations? You love someone, and if you love them and they don't love you back so be it. There needn't be any drama over that. If it is, it is. If it isn't move on. We cannot make someone love us, or love us back the same way even though we love them. And you don't need to beat yourself up over why that person doesn't love you back or in the same way.
At the same time it's important to remember and know that you do deserve love. Love should be easy and when it's right, it will be returned. Love is a two-way street. It really shouldn't be a struggle, at least not in the very beginning.